I hate watching the sun come up dawn after dawn with tears in my eyes.
I have never known the spring to turn so quickly into autumn.

Walk on by

When you see me walkin' down the street
And I start to cry each time we meet,
Walk on by, walk on by
Make believe you don't see the tears
Just let me breathe and cry
'Cause each time I think of you I want to die
So just walk on by

I just can't get over losing you
So if I seem broken and blue,
Walk on by, Walk on by
Beautiful memories is all that I have left
So let me hide the tears and sadness
That you gave me when you left me high and dry
Walk on bye, Walk on bye

TravelGuide

Is there anyone waiting for me there?
Why am I traveling then, where am I getting at?
Feels like I should just stop for the night,
These moments I am losing, won't return, I am sure about that.

Those tender moments have already passed,
And those nights have been relegated to memories,
She has forgotten, I better forget too,
The affection and those cute allegories

There's only emptiness now, where we once had hours to chat
Why am I traveling then, where am I getting at?

Nobody's anywhere, waiting for me to arrive,
The time I am alone, its hard to even keep a record!
No one's feelin' my pain, its like being stung by a hive
And there's not even a tear that she can afford!

In my own hometown, I feel like an expat,
Why am I traveling then, where am I getting at?

Happiness is an illusion,
Its like ripples in a lake
Everyone has seen 'em, everyone knows 'em
But they are there for no one to take

You can't have it forever, whether you are humble about it or a brat
Why am I traveling then, where am I getting at?

Is there anyone waiting for me there?
Why am I traveling then, where am I getting at?
Feels like I should just stop for the night,
These moments I am losing, won't return, I am sure about that.

"Not Dark Yet..."

Shadows are falling and I've been here all day
It's too hot to sleep; time is running away
Feel like my soul has turned into steel
I've still got the scars that the sun didn't heal
There's not even room enough to be anywhere
It's not dark yet, but it's getting there

Well my sense of humanity has gone down the drain
Behind every beautiful thing, there's been some kind of pain
She wrote me a letter and she wrote it so kind
She put down in writing what was in her mind
I just don't see why I should even care
It's not dark yet, but it's getting there

Well, you can be in London or you can be in Paris'
You follow a river and you will get to the sea
I've been down on the bottom of a world full of lies
I ain't looking for nothing in anyone's eyes
Sometimes my burden seems more than I can bear
It's not dark yet, but it's getting there

I was born this way and I'll die against my will
I know it looks like I'm moving, but I'm standing still
Every nerve in my body is so vacant and numb
I can't even remember what it was I came here to get away from
Don't even hear, a murmur of a prayer
It's not dark yet, but it's getting there.

Stop this world, I want to get off.

"If you see her..."

If you see her, say hello, she might be somewhere near
She left for it early summer; is livin' there, I hear
Say for me that I'm all right though things get kind of slow
She might think that I've forgotten her, don't tell her it isn't so.

We had a falling-out, like lovers often will
And to think of how she left that night, it still brings me a chill
And though our separation, it pierced me to the heart
She still lives inside of me, we've never been apart.

If you get close to her, kiss her once for me
I always have respected her for doing what she did and gettin' free
Oh, whatever makes her happy, I won't stand in the way
Though the bitter taste still lingers on from the night I tried to make her stay.

I see a lot of people but I don’t see her face
And I hear her name here and there as I go from place to place
And I've never gotten used to it, I've just learned to turn it off
Either I'm too sensitive or else I'm gettin' soft.

Sundown, yellow moon, I replay the past
I know every scene by heart, they all went by so fast
If she's passin' back this way, I'm not that hard to find
Tell her she can look me up if she's ever got the time.

"I'll remember you"

I'll remember you
When I've forgotten all the rest,
You to me were true,
You to me were the best.
Although when there should have been something more,
You cut to the core
Quicker than anyone I knew.
When I'm all alone
In the great unknown,
I'll remember you.

I'll remember you
At the end of the trail,
I had so much left to do,
I had so little time to fail.
When the roses fade
And I'm in the shade,
I'll remember you.

Didn't I, didn't I try to love you?
Didn't I, didn't I try to care?
Didn't I sleep, didn't I weep beside you
With the rain blowing in your hair?

I'll remember you
When the wind blows through the wood.
It was you who came right through,
It was you who understood.
Though I'd never say
That I done it the way
That you'd have liked me to.
In the end,
My dear sweet friend,
I'll remember you.

Of old friends and times...

He walked on the sidewalk. Alone. His mind was filled with thoughts. He couldn't hear the rustling of the dry August leaves as they lay there on the sidewalk. His feet trampled on them causing a low crackling sound. He didn’t notice that either. He just kept staring at the slope on the road. He remembered the countless times he had walked up that slope as a child. The trees on both sides of the road seemed so old now. But then they were. They had been there before him and looked like they would be there forever. It didn’t look like things had changed for those trees at all. Sure they must have had nests where birds laid their eggs, hatched babies, fed them, and watched them disappear across the horizon. But apart from that, things looked the same for the trees. They must have all seen the sun rise and set each day for the last several decades. They must have seen scores of young children ambling to school somberly and back from school ecstatically. They must have seen generations of kids ride their bikes and play in the lonely lane for years. Had anything really changed for them at all? Well, they had grown old. Like him. But differently. The trees had grown old gracefully. They seemed at peace with themselves. Unlike him. He could feel himself growing old each day. And he hated it. He wished he could grow old doing what he liked. There was a time in the past when he had got caught in the high stakes' game. He made himself believe that he had dreams and he had to pursue them. This pursuit took him away from his beloved lane. The trees and the mountains tried hard to stop him and begged for his companionship. He could not hear their pleadings. He believed he had bigger things to achieve.

Today when he came back after 15 long years, he had no such airs. He was grateful that the trees and the mountains and the houses accepted him like always. He could see how much had changed in these years. Yet it all looked so familiar. He instantly felt at ease when he started trudging that ol’ lane of his. There was the house of the mean lady who always yelled at them. Next to it was the house where the jolly old grandma stayed. She used to invite him and his friends over for lemonade and cookies on those hot summer afternoons after they were done with their game. Could she still be around? Would she recognize him?

There was a teenaged couple walking aimlessly on the other side of the road. He could read their thoughts like a book. Their innocent love reminded him of his own teens. He watched them disappear into the wooded park off the road. It was the same wooded park where Jim and he used to go exploring on wintry afternoons. They saw birds and ducks and the pond and the trees. They had countless questions about each of them. Most of them were still unanswered.

Then he saw it. His own house. The beautiful place that had made him what he was today. He saw it from the street and felt tears well up in his eyes. Could this be real? Could he be standing in front of his own little home after all these years? The building had so much character. He felt so small. How could he have left it? All those years came rushing back to him. He couldn't hold back his tears. It is a crushing feeling to realize that all you really wanted was always righ there when you were searching for it outside. It wasn’t the same though. Jim no longer stayed next door. There wasn’t the air of familiarity where he could walk into Jim’s bedroom and spend hours doing nothing. He wished that Jim would come back one day and stay next door again. He yearned for that. Kids no longer played outside till dark. There weren’t any mothers chasing their kids.

He went around the house to the backyard. It looked so small now. He couldn't believe he used to get tired running around that tiny backyard. And there was the tree. His tree. Even that looked smaller now. It was definitely frail. He walked across the yard to the tree and hugged it and began to weep.

Life had come a full circle for him. He was where he started from and was happier than ever. He missed all this. And he missed his tree. He felt like he had wronged it somehow. Even after it begged him to stay, he had left it to grow old alone.

But now, he saw it all. In the fading light of the dusk, he could see things properly. Autumn leaves fell gently on the ground and a slight chilly breeze began to blow. Birds were returning to their nests. He was hugging his tree and lights were quietly coming on in the houses on the street. He let his tears flow down freely and silently made a promise to himself that fading evening.

For how much longer?

Has it always been like this?

Our hearts empty of much needed love,
Our wills battered with an iron glove.

Our minds negated,
Our souls castrated.

Do we stay on our knees,
Awaiting the final blow?

Can we do anything? Can we try?