“Hey! What’s up? Long time! Like really long, huh?”
“Yea. More than 10 years!”
“Yea man. Good to meet you. Really.”

“Oh cool, you guys know each other?”

“Know! This guy is the biggest jerk ever.”
“Yea well, really sorry for all that dude.”
“Man! You were the biggest asshole, weren’t you.”
“I know. I was. But well, I’m sorry.”

“Ok. What the hell are you two talking about? Perpetual Wonderer, you want to tell me?”

“We went to school together. And were put together on the same bench, evidently because fate wanted to play a cruel joke on me. On us. I mean, look at us. Even today. We used to share a bench for 8 hours a day. For a good part of 5 years, was it?”
“Yea. It was a joke. But not a good one. To be sitting next to a complete asshole.”
“Come on dude. I understand. Not that it helps you any, but I am really sorry. If it makes you feel good, I’m in touch with hell and they tell me they are holding my place.”
“Yep. You are going to hell.”
“Look. It was a long time ago. I didn’t know what I was doing. I mean, there is only so much you can hold a 10 year old responsible for, right? I am not justifying, but you can’t forget that we were kids back then. There have always been cruel kids and sweet kids. Maybe if I had different parents or friends, things would be different. But 10 year olds acting all sensitive is an aberration, you know.”
“But I never understood why!”
“I can tell you why. But you need to understand that that’s what I thought back then. Ok?”
“So what was it?”
“You had to act like you were better than all of us. With your specs and everything. I sweetly asked you your name on the very first day, while the teacher was teaching. And you, snobbish you, had to act all irritated, turn around, and say ‘Ma’am is teaching something. I will tell you my name...later.’ Really? You could have just told me your name instead of saying all that. I decided you had to have it. Right then. And forever after that.”

“Wow PW, you were quite different as a kid, I can see.”

“Well, I was. You can ask the man here. But hey, I wasn’t a bad kid, really. Just a little mischievous. Some might even say cute. And I haven’t turned out all bad, right?”
“Yea. He was a horrible person. Like really awful. In fact I feel like I should kick him in the balls right now!”
“I guess if I could go back, I would do things somewhat differently.”
“You bet you would.”

I realized the conversation was going nowhere and it had no point anyway. The guy just wanted to vent and he was doing it. Anything I said was going to hold no value. No matter how hard I tried to communicate. It was like kissing the person you love on her forehead. You feel like you are communicating something very honest, deep, and soulful in that moment. Something that words are inadequate for. You hope the vibe gets through and she understands you through that kiss. But in the end you realize what it was. It was just saliva you left on someone’s forehead. And no one likes that. They say they do, in the moment. But actually, eventually, they don’t care. So I stopped putting any more proverbial saliva on the person’s forehead and just assumed that even this conversation, like the guilt, was not something I could wish away, after what had happened years ago.

Then, surprisingly enough, the guy just asked me for a sip of whatever alcohol I was drinking. I gave it to him and a few minutes later he piggybacked on some of my jokes and joined me in picking on some other random guy. For the rest of the night. Suddenly, the past didn’t matter. It was like we were 10 again. Only he was on my side this time.

Well…