Everything went from bad to worse,
Money never changed a thing,
Death kept following, tracking us down,
At least I heard your bluebird sing.
Now somebody's got to show their hand,
Time is an enemy,
I know you're long gone,
I guess it must be up to me.

If I'd thought about it, I never would've done it,
I guess I would've let it slide,
If I'd have paid attention, to what others were thinkin',
The heart inside me would've died.
I was just too stubborn, to ever be governed
By enforced insanity,
Someone had to reach for the rising star,
I guess it was up to me.

Oh, the Union Central is pullin' out
The orchids are in bloom,
I've only got me one good shirt left
And it smells of stale perfume.
In fourteen months I've only smiled once
And I didn't do it consciously,
Somebody had to find your trail,
I guessed it was up to me.

It was like a revelation
When you betrayed me with your touch,
I'd just about convinced myself
That nothin' had changed that much.
The all rounder in the iron mask
Slipped me the master key,
Somebody had to unlock your heart,
He said it was up to me.

Well, I watched you slowly disappear
Down into the officers' club,
I would've followed you in the door
But I didn't have a ticket stub.
So I waited all night 'til the break of day,
Hopin' one of us could get free,
When the dawn came over the river bridge,
I knew it was up to me.

Oh, the only decent thing I did
When I worked as a postal clerk
Was to haul your picture down off the wall
Near the cage where I used to work.
Was I a fool or not
To protect your real identity?
You looked a little burned out, my friend,
I thought it might be up to me.

Well, I met somebody face to face
I had to remove my hat,
She's everything I need and love
But I can't be swayed by that.
It frightens me, the awful truth
Of how sweet life can be,
But she ain't a-gonna make me move,
I guess it was gonna be up to me.

We both heard the sermon on the mount
And I knew it was too complex,
It didn't amount to anything more
Than what the broken glass reflects.
When you bite off more than you can chew
You gotta pay the penalty,
Somebody's got to tell the tale,
I guess it must be up to me.

Well, Dupree came in pimpin' tonight
To the Thunderbird Cafe,
Crystal wanted to talk to him,
I had to look the other way.
Well, I just can't rest without you, love,
I need your company,
But you weren't a-gonna cross the line,
I guessed it was up to me.

There's a note left in the bottle,
You can give it to Estelle,
She's the one you been wond'rin' about,
But there's really nothin' much to tell.
We both heard voices for a while,
Now the rest is history,
Somebody's got to cry some tears,
I guess it must be up to me.

So go on, boys, and play your hands,
Life is a pantomime,
The ringleaders from the county seat
Say you don't have all that much time.
And the girl with me behind the shades,
She ain't my property,
One of us has got to hit the road,
I guess it must be up to me.

And if we never meet again,
Baby, remember me,
How my lone guitar played sweet for you
That old-time melody.
And the harmonica around my neck,
I blew it for you, free,
No one else could play that tune,
You knew it was up to me.

I had a lot of chores to take care of
I made a list of people to meet
A shopkeeper, a professor, bus conductor,
A journalist, a weatherman, and a priest
Between all of them, I’d find the answer
To why some people fill gaps with giggles
And thus began the day
When my soul got smashed to pickles

I’ve always loved hearing from the horse’s mouth
So I got my news straight from the journo
“If you step back and quit bugging me”, he said
“I’ll tell you everything I know
A whistle blew so shrill today
It made me think of you my dear,
Nothing profound, but the news I’ve got
Is just what you’re afraid to hear”

With my palms sweating I scrammed away
Had a store to go to, to return a gift
I looked the shopkeeper in the eye and said
“Oh how easily we shift!”
“What I offered wasn’t spotless baby”
He reasoned, “It was a slightly off-key tune
But it wasn’t impure like promise babe,
It was sweetly mottled like the moon”

Shaking my head, I walked away
Thought some science would do me good
So I walked up to a professor and said
“I hope that telescope ain’t made of wood”
He laughed, “Look, there’s something in the sky
Don't come here you can see it from there
It’s burning like everything you ever said
That’s still hanging in the air”

By now I was depressed with everything around
The weather forecast was my only hope
I seeked the weatherman out and cried
“Please throw me your longest rope”
“I’d love to but I can’t in this weather
Tonights gonna be mad, rumbling skies
Incantations will flood one side of the road,
On the other, moondrops will drip from some eyes.”

Right then the answer dawned on me
Maybe the earth would heal my scars
But the priest hinted, “Even gravity takes sides
It's biased towards falling stars
Deliverance is cool, but it makes you weak
People failing you makes you harden
Look at that artsy gal out there
Who was failed at art in kindergarten”

With no cheer, I began walking toward a bus
But it just kept moving away
Furious as coal, I cursed the conductor
“What the hell did you just say?”
“Oh, if I ever said "Leave", I musta meant "Stay"
But now I have no new words
Put a necktie on that scarecrow all you want,
It's no damn difference to the birds”

Bahot door mujhe chale jaana hai
Bahot nazdeek mujhe aana hai
Teri baahon mein mujhe
Aaj mar jaana hai
Kissi ko iss jagah pe nahin aana hai
Kissi ko iss jagah se nahin jaana hai
Teri baahon mein mujhe
Aaj mar jaana hai

Jaane mile ya na mile
Phir aesi tanhaayi
Dil ki lagi le ne lagi
Seene mein angdaayi
Mujhko chhupa le
Dil mein basaa le
Dekh bura
Yeh zamana hai
Kissi ko iss jagah pe nahin aana hai
Kissi ko iss jagah se nahin jaana hai
Teri baahon mein mujhe
Aaj mar jaana hai

Kya zindagi kat jaayegi
Bas teri yaadon mein
Yeh raat bhi dhal jaayegi
Kya yoon hi waadon mein
Armaan nikle
Ya jaan nikle
Pyaar mera
Deewana hai
Kissi ko iss jagah pe nahin aana hai
Kissi ko iss jagah se nahin jaana hai
Teri baahon mein mujhe
Aaj mar jaana hai

Mere badan mein oh sajan
Jaagi ek chingaari
Toot jaayegi jal jaayegi
Iss mein duniya saari
Iss ko bujha de
Shola banaa de
Kehta yeh
Parwana hai
Bahot door mujhe chale jaana hai
Bahot nazdeek mujhe aana hai
Teri baahon mein mujhe
Aaj mar jaana hai

Bahot door mujhe chale jaana hai
Bahot nazdeek mujhe aana hai
Teri baahon mein mujhe
Aaj mar jaana hai

The air had gotten noticeably thicker. So thick that his words were not being able to make it through. He couldn't even see through it. It felt like being stuck in an awful dream where situations seem real but details are bizarre. His mind was spewing thoughts in a frenzy but his diction wasn't being able to keep pace. Thoughts lined up at the base of his tongue, waiting to be articulated. They kept piling up into a lump in his throat, choking him. Soon, they fused into one glob of gibberish that dribbled out of his mouth in a continuous stream of goo. All of them fluxed together. The truth, the sadness, the tragedy, the laughs, the tears, the memories, the dreams, the imagination...all of it commingled shabbily into one slimy ball. He wanted to scream them all out at the same time. Some thoughts that couldn't make it out even through the goo, made their way out of his eyes.

The heavy air and the clouds inside his eyes made it more difficult for him to see. He felt each of his senses waning more and more. Dying away. Had he been able to force himself on the situation and get it all together in that moment, it would have been a different world from there. But this was perfect too...perfect in the context of this world he was living in, where nothing was right. Everything about the moment was going so wrong that it couldn't have belonged to a different world.

"Well, I don't know" he simply said. And blinked furiously so he could clear the water from his eyes and watch out for that ditch in the tarmac.

Clementine: This is it, Joel. It's going to be gone soon.
Joel: I know.
Clementine: What do we do?
Joel: Enjoy it.

She:
Oh, I'm sailin' away, my own true love
I'm sailin' away in the morning
Is there something I can send you, from across the sea
From the place that I'll be landing?

He:
No, there's nothing you can send me my own true love
There's nothing I'm wishin' to be ownin'
Just a-carry yourself back to me unspoiled
From across that lonesome ocean.

She:
Ah, but I just thought, you might want something fine
Made of silver or of golden
Either from the mountains of Madrid
Or the coast of Barcelone

He:
Oh but if I had the stars of the darkest night
And the diamonds from the deepest ocean,
I'd forsake them all, for your sweet kiss,
For that's all I'm wishin' to be ownin'

She:
But I might be gone a long old time,
And it's only that I'm askin'
Is there something I can send you, to remember me by,
To make your time more easy passin'?

He:
Oh how can, how can, you ask me again?
You know it only brings me sorrow.
The same thing I would want today
I would want again tomorrow.

Oh I got a letter on a lonesome day.
It was from her ship, its sailin'
Sayin' "I don't know when I'll be comin' back again.
It depends on how I'm feelin'"

If you, my love, must think that a'way
I'm sure your mind, it is roaming
I'm sure your thoughts are not with me
But with the country to where you're going

So take heed, take heed, of the western winds
Take heed of the stormy weather
And yes, there's something you can send back to me,
Spanish boots of,
Spanish leather

Working all day for a mean little man
With a clip-on tie and a rub-on tan
He's got me running 'round the office like a dog around a track
But when I get back home,
You're always there to rub my back

Hey Julie,
Look what they're doing to me
Trying to trip me up
Trying to wear me down
Julie, I swear, it's so hard to bear it
And I'd never make it through without you around

Hours on the phone making pointless calls
I got a desk full of papers that means nothing at all
Sometimes I catch myself staring into space
Counting down the hours 'til I get to see your face

Hey Julie,
Look what they're doing to me
Trying to trip me up
Trying to wear me down
Julie, I swear, it's so hard to bear it
And I'd never make it through without you around
No, I'd never make it through without you around

How did it come to be
That you and I must be
Far away from each other every day?
Why must I spend my time
Filling up my mind
With facts and figures that never add up anyway?
They never add up anyway

Working all day for a mean little guy
With a bad toupee and a soup-stained tie
He's got me running 'round the office
Like a gerbil on a wheel
He can tell me what to do
But he can't tell me what to feel

Hey Julie,
Look what they're doing to me
Trying to trip me up
Trying to wear me down
Julie, I swear, it's so hard to bear it
And I'd never make it through with out you around
No, I'd never make it through without you around
No, I'd never make it through without you around

Wednesdays are different from Thursdays. But some Wednesdays and Thursdays are more different. In a lot of ways, things have changed. In a lot of ways they haven’t. Some, probably never will.

This Wednesday wore the same colors as that Thursday. Yet it was a thousand times darker. The sky leaked at about the same time this morning too. But today, the wind bit in with a lot more spite. The wind, and a thousand other things with it. I looked into the mirror in the morning, as I did then. And I still liked and hated the same things. Just some more and some less. Some about myself, some about others. The world still radiated forth an idea that it was slowing down and would soon stop spinning, so I might be able to make some sense. But it has kept on keeping on through all these years. Back then, they wouldn’t pay me enough to work. Today they couldn’t pay me enough to care. The smell and the feeling of today was all too familiar. And not just in a good way.

I was stupid then. I don’t know about now. Then, I thought actions spoke louder than words. But now I think doing is overrated. You never have to do if you can say the right words. Unfortunately, words and I never got along. My parents never taught me to not talk to strangers. Now, after several lessons from non-convalescence, I learned that strangers have a way of making you smile, then feeding off your soul, and leaving you depleted. I know better than to make others' problems my own. That's why I wore fresh lavender then. And that's why I'd rather wear gray now.

This is a lot less closer to my dream. Maybe because reality is just another word for imperfection and wrongness. Or maybe because 5 years on, this is a Wednesday and that was a Thursday.

Down the street, the dogs are barking
And the day is getting dark.
As the night comes in a-fallin'
The dogs, will lose their bark.
And the silent night will shatter
From the sounds inside my mind
And I'm one too many mornings
And a thousand miles behind.

From the crossroads of the doorstep,
My eyes start to fade.
And I turn my head back to the room
Where my love and I have laid.
And I gaze back to the street,
The sidewalk, and the sign
And you're one too many mornings
And a thousand miles behind.

It's a restless, hungry feeling
That don't mean no one no good.
When everything I'm saying,
You can say just as good.
You are right from your side,
And I am right from mine.
We're both just one too many mornings
And a thousand miles behind.

The air is getting hotter
There's a rumbling in the skies
I've been wading through the high muddy water
With the heat rising in my eyes
Everyday your memory grows dimmer
It shouldn’t haunt me like it did before
I've been walking through the middle of nowhere
Trying to get to Heaven before they close the door

When I was in Missouri
They would not let me be
I had to leave there in a hurry
I only saw what they let me see
You broke a heart that loved you
Now you can seal up the book and not write anymore
I’ve been walking that lonesome valley
Trying to get to Heaven before they close the door

People on the platforms
Waiting for the trains
I can hear their hearts a-beatin'
Like pendulums swinging on chains
When you think that you've lost everything
You find out you can always lose a little more
I'm just going down the road feeling bad
Trying to get to Heaven before they close the door

I'm going down the river
Down to New Orleans
They tell me everything is gonna be all right
But I don't know what all right even means
I was riding in a buggy with Miss Mary Jane
Miss Mary Jane got a house in Baltimore
I've been all around the world, boys
Now I'm trying to get to Heaven before they close the door

Gonna sleep down in the parlor
And relive my dreams
I'll close my eyes and I wonder
If everything is as hollow as it seems
Some trains don't pull no gamblers
No midnight ramblers like they did before
I've been to Sugar Town, I shook the sugar down
Now I'm trying to get to Heaven before they close the door

DISGUST ALERT. Graphic details of something that should probably never be discussed appear below.

Here’s a list of reasons why I am better than about 99% of the men in office (and probably in the universe in general), if we were to judge them on their real selves that they let loose in the mens room several times each day. Yup, the culprits of the following (should-be) crimes cover 99 out of 100 men around me. No exaggeration. I have been trying to be as lenient as possible hoping I can somehow find at least some guys who don’t flounder on any of the items in the list. Yet, instead of finding more guys, I only find more items to add to this list!

Spitters, hocklers, snorters, etc. They discharge stuff from their mouths (spit, phlegm, bits of food stuck in their teeth, etc.), into the urinal, before they begin to actually pee in it. It is just too disgusting, to everyone around. Is that a balancing act or something? Like every time they go to discharge something from their dicks, they need to balance it with something from their mouths too? I wonder if these people also pee in the wash basin when they go to brush their teeth?

The Jerkers. After the deed is done or when it is nearly complete, they tend to hold their dicks, and jerk violently. Their whole body shakes! Right from their back, the shoulder, the whole arm, elbow, forearm, wrist, fist (presumably), and fingers. What is wrong, people? I don’t quite believe your pee is so thick and viscous, that you need to shake it off like that. How about a doctor?

The Perfectionists. They believe in clearing out any potential obstacle posed by their paraphernalia, to have an unfettered leak. The belt, buttons, hooks, the trousers themselves, and hitherto tucked in shirt…they all come off. It’s like these people were late to the demo that the guy who invented zippers was delivering.

The Ocean Sounders. People who ignore acoustics and don’t bother making an effort to avoid the inordinately loud, disgusting, gushing sound. I can understand if this happens with women. But shouldn’t men exercise some navigation, given our anatomies? Just maneuver it a bit to find that angle of incidence of the stream on the urinal walls so that you don't give us the illusion of a waterfall. Sometimes, it is so loud, I can imagine the froth and what not!

The Peer Reviewers. Let’s assume a loo has 4 urinals on the wall, one next to the other. I go in, see all of them empty. So I go to the absolute last one. A guy comes in next, looks around. Now there are 3 terminals available to him. He can choose any one of them. But he chooses the one immediately next to mine! WTF dude? Keep some distance. If we were at the movies and the hall were almost empty when I came in, should I come up right next to you and occupy the seat adjacent to where you are sitting? Or should I try and sit as far away from you as possible? There is a lesson there!

The Hobnobs. Social butterflies who engage you in idle chit chat while they are midstream. It could be anything. Casual social enquiries, gossip, general cribbing etc. Now I don’t know why I have a problem with this, but I think I deserve to be understood. If I don’t respond, completely ignore, or sometimes even appear disgusted with you, I shouldn’t be judged. Cuz what you are doing is NOT NORMAL. And honestly, I don’t think we are that busy, ever. If it is something you need to discuss, put your dick back in and we can discuss it like civilized people. If it is not that important, we shouldn’t discuss it ever!

The Stargazers. These folks actually mind their own business. And quite seriously at that. From the time it comes out, to the moment it goes back in, they just put their heads down and focus. They admire their assets. Sometimes, even fantasize perhaps. I dunno. What is to observe? I really don’t know. But it is very weird to see a person you know stare at their penis so fondly a few inches away from you.

The Fake Washers. Note: I can see how some people think it is ok to not wash their hands sometimes. I don’t approve, at all, however. But the people in this category are slightly different. They use one hand to hold it. But they wash the other! Unknowingly! That’s cuz they are washing their hands for society’s sake. While I respect the effort, you need to do a better job. People like me, while very few, notice. And classify you. This category also includes those who wait in line at the wash basin, and spend those few seconds brushing their hair with said hand. What’s the point after that, I ask. Unless you also take a shower right there. And some of them offer a handshake with the same hand when they see you in there. Thankewwverymuch I say.

The Escapists. I swear I have seen people take strolls in our loos. People walk in, undo their zippers, and wait. That’s right! They wait. There is a complete absence of activity for several seconds, almost minutes, you’d think, before you hear an apology for a stream. You couldn’t have acted on that call man! Come on! What are you running from? The boss? The work? Someone else? You know what, next time you take a leak to unwind from your mad mad world, think about how privileged you are. There are men in Africa who don’t get even one good pee a day. Ok, the Africa guilt trip doesn’t exactly apply here. But I’m sure there are people out there who want to pee at that very moment, but can’t for whatever reason. Think about them.

The Nonflushers. I think these folks have a superiority complex. They feel their pee is better and cleaner than ours. And they don't need to flush it like the rest of us. I'm sure these arrogant men were the reason the auto-janitor had to be invented. Bonus asshole points if you are a spitter and a non flusher! And I'm not kidding, there are tonnes of them out there.

The Half Squatters. This is probably way too common to still be weird you’d think. But I fail to get it. People walk into the loo, face the urinal, undo their zippers, and before they whip it out, they do a quick half squat! Like they are enabling it to jump over some hurdle or something. In all my years, I have never ever felt the need to do this. The longest known penis in the world is 14 inches. And I have visualized it. Even that gentleman probably doesn’t have to adjust himself for this most natural of ablutions. So why do so many people do it? Do they maintain their penises in the wrong positions or what? Or are they wearing a metal cup or something, just in case someone kicks them in nuts for being superjerks in other walks of life too? Hmmm…

The Gum Spitters. These people should be in cages. Period. I could have included them in the generic spitters category above. But they are too audacious to fall there. They know that gum doesn’t dissolve or get flushed through the 6 small round holes. Yet they spit it in there. And then it gets clogged. And some poor soul has to get his day ruined by fixing it. Just arrrggghhhh!

Now, I can proudly say, that I don’t fall in ANY of these categories. While that is not saying much, considering how base some of these are, that does qualify me in the top one percent of men around me. Seriously, the amount of feel good it brings is something to experience.

Now this list has gotten long enough. So I am going to drop some really gross categories related to pubes and such (see? that’s how lenient I am). But suffice to know that there are even more categories out there! As an optimist, I hope this list shortens in the future, or at least doesn't grow longer than it already is. But I know humanity has a way of surprising and disappointing me consistently. So I just hope I am never in a mood to update this again.