I don't want to cheapen the emotion by putting up some dreary superlatives and then describing how they fall short. I don't want to say something just because if I don't, it means I have nothing to say. I very much do. More valuable than all those reams of claptrap that have been spewed over the last 2 weeks…and those that are on their way to achieve new levels of meaninglessness in another 3 weeks' time. So in the middle of this relative lull, while dictionaries are being devoured by those who can write, in a quest to discover an adjective not used to death over the last 25 years, I will say what I must.

It sucks. For me. The fact that Sachin is officially walking away, well and truly does suck for me. I don't want to restate clichés about being from the generation that didn't have any other relevant heroes. I could not care less for that generation. However, as a kid, like a million other kids perhaps, I had built up my own subconscious mechanism of choosing the 'right' way when faced with any situation: 'What would Sachin do?' It may have been stupid. It may have been a way to externalize a 'nice guy' persona and project it on someone who was universally acknowledged as one. Whatever. But it still helped me never do anything that made it difficult to live with myself…for all my colossal teenaged dilemmas. It helped me rely solely on what I had and not turn to anyone for favors. It helped me not copy in exams. It helped me not jump red lights. It helped me never cheat. It helped me not be a douche generally. I can almost say I try and do things that way, to this day.

I wonder if I'd have been a different person, had I not grown up watching the nice guy win. Now, I don't really know if Sachin is a 'nice guy' or if he would do things a certain way off the field. So assumptions aside…what Sachin did do for sure was point out that the elusive middle path exists. In a society that either turns reflexively towards irrelevant extremes like the Gandhian way, or resigns and caves hopelessly when faced with a challenge too big to handle, Sachin carved his groove on that thin line. You need to give as good as you get, he said…but you also need to do it with poise. If you care enough to fight hard but fair, egos break easier than bones. And they don't fuck around with you after that. You simply stand up and do what you know you can. And while everybody already knew this as 'that virtue you find solace in after you lose', Sachin showed you can actually win that way.

He did all this for me. He did much more too. To this day, my blood boils when I see hypocritical scum that stands for everything Sachin does not, associate itself with him to nosh off of him. All those bottom feeders who have ever stood next to him in a picture or who have ever said they were his fans and how he is a great role model, make me want to grab a gun. And yet, in a lot of ways, Sachin has shown how you can coexist with shit without having absolutely anything to do with it. I can now smile, the same smile Sachin smiles, when I come across any of the countless douchebag poseurs I unfortunately have in my own life. Everyday, in a lot of ways, the most relevant question still remains 'What would Sachin do?'

I hate smudging my focus here, but it really makes me shudder at how much more awful things are going to be. When kids grow up believing you should do whatever it takes to get what you want. When ends are valued more than means, since that angle works better for just about everyone. I shudder at how awful things are going to be cuz there sure as hell won't be any Sachin to root for the right thing tomorrow. Not a winner anyway. And unless someone really steps up, we're all set to create a world that would one day have you believe 'Sachin has become an irrelevant idea' and 'he wouldn't last a day in today's world'.

My first reaction to finding out he's walking away was 'why can't he just stop playing…why does he have to walk away?' It wasn't like he was playing a great deal of cricket anyway. Couldn't he just hang around for another, I dunno, 15 years and just not play? Why does he have to announce that he won't be around! I hate using the term 'retirement' with Sachin…cuz everyone else retires…Sachin must surely do better. In time, this denial will give way to some useless wisdom and I'll make my peace with a world that just turned a darker shade of crappy. Nothing surprising there…but while Sachin has chosen to walk away, it is perhaps time for me to process what happened exactly…because whatever happened, for the first time in 25 years, my question seems to have returned a 'He'd say he's had enough'.