Sunday, September 26, 2010

Actual Conversation:

Perpetual Wonderer (humming, rather braying, to himself):...so tell me, did you sail across the Sun...did you make it to the Milky Way...


Sweet Girl: Hey PW, you sing quite well. You should really try singing at the karaoke event.


PW: Ok. Is that a different way to ask me to shut up now, and sing at the event instead?


SG: No no! I am serious.


PW: Aww. Thats awfully sweet of you. But I am only doing karaoke if there is a like a booth covered by black curtains from all sides, and has a secret entry and exit, so no one knows who just sang! Either that or you have to buy out the crowd and make them be as sweet as you are.


Girl # 1: Well, actually thats not a bad idea. If that were the case, I would love to sing too.


Girl # 2: Hey, you know what, one of my friends in school had a karaoke machine at home, one that shows you your score and all. I tried singing for hours, but it just never gave me any score!


SG: Yea, sometimes when you sing too close into the mic, it acts funny.


Girl # 2: No yea, I think I was just actually that bad! (makes lame sad face)


PW: You know what Girl # 2, if you were really really bad at it, like horrible, then you would have gotten a score of 800.


Girl # 2: Huh! (wins award for dumbest face ever)


Girl # 1: Why a score of 800?


PW (ready to receive award for best joke of the century): You know, it would look like 800 to you, but the machine would be actually saying BOO! (Looks around expecting garlands and hot chicks trying to rush to get a piece of the awesome joke cracker)


Long....long silence instead!


PW (making eyes to SG, telepathically forcing her to laugh her guts out): Well, SG? 800, BOO, get it?


SG: Umm, not really. Anyway, so I hear the desserts here are really good.


PW: Wait wait wait...lets not turn a blind eye to what has happened right now.


Girl # 2: So explain the joke na! (pips previous face in dumbest face ever competition)


PW: Explain the joke? Really? No no no...we don't do that.


Guy friend who has been happily sniggering, getting drunk across from me, whispers in a hushed tone: PW, let it go. I got it, it was a funny joke. Just not here.


PW, in equally hushed tones (casts one final look at all three ladies to see if the joke had eventually landed with either): Yea I guess, but if such an obvious joke didn't land, what about the bigger problem of hangoutworthiness of these chicks!

Hanging out with the wrong people has clinical implications, I realized later.

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