"Hello...Am I talking to Mr. Ravi?"
"Uh...yes...you are...".
"Thank You Sir. I am calling on behalf of Citibank. Sir, you have just been specially chosen for a new insurance plan as a reward for being a esteemed Citibank Credit Card holder Sir. Can I go on and inform you of the various features it offers to you as a specially chosen customer?"

I have always been a sucker for these you-are-so-special-to-me/us, you-mean so-much-to-me/us traps. I couldn't resist hearing how special I was to a commercial profit-hungry bank.

"Sure go on..." I heard myself say.
"Sir this is a special Life Insurance plan that you won't be able to buy from the market Sir."
"Ok"
"Sir it provides you with a cover in case of your unfortunate death Sir."
"Well not sure how unfortunate it would be...but go ahead..."
"Yes sir...so sir this plan offers you Life Insurance in case of any kind of death with no processing hassles sir."
"Ok"
"A special feature is our murder and suicide insurance sir. Even if you committ suicide sir, your nominee will get the full cover sir."
"Suicide insurance eh? And I have specially been chosen for this one you say?"
"Yes Sir...specially chosen..."
"So the news is out then?"
"What sir?"
"Never mind...go on please"
"Thank You Sir. So sir, this wonderful new plan, with suicide insurance, will provide your dependants with financial security in the case of your unfortunate death sir. May I know how many dependants you have sir?"
"Well, no one depends on me for anything...if thats what you are asking. I am not needed."
"No sir...not like that. Any spouse..."
"Nope."
"Any children?"
"Really?"
"No sir. What about your parents sir?"
"Ah them."
"Yes sir, them. It will provide them with security and no hassles sir."
"Yea...I'm not sure who depends on whom in that relationship. But I understand. Go on please."
"Thank you sir...you can also choose any third person as your nominee too sir...there are many more features too sir...blah blah blah"

A fat nasty old man once began a conversation with me saying "Assuming you die tomorrow..." That was a sidey local company. This phone dude had all the charm and panache that you'd associate with a glam foreign bank. So he went a step further and addressed me saying "Assuming you kill yourself tomorrow sir...".

And like a naive country boy, I bought into both these guys. At least this call centre guy made me feel like I would be worth something to someone once I died. That someone could be anyone I chose! That did make me feel special. Like I was really the chosen one. It was almost like I won at a lucky dip at a funfair and as a prize, I got to make a wish. No Conditions Apply. Or at least hassle free...as the man said.

So now, I am like a flesh and blood at-par cheque, encashable anytime, issued in favor of those who 'depend' on me. They may not have any particular interest in me being alive. But I have handed them some incentive to bump me off, should they ever get too tired of me. Is that sweetening the deal for anyone to want me? Yea right!

It scares me how much these corporations can change the way we look at things.