Oh, the streets of Rome are filled with rubble,
Ancient footprints are everywhere
You can almost think that you’re seein’ double
On a cold, dark night on the Spanish Stairs
Gotta hurry on back to my hotel room,
Where I’ve got me a date with Botticelli’s niece
Yup she promised that she’d be right there with me
When I paint my masterpiece.

Oh, the hours I’ve spent inside the Coliseum,
Dodging lions and wastin’ time
Oh, those mighty kings of the jungle, I could hardly stand to see ’em,
Yes, it sure has been a long, hard climb
Train wheels runnin’ through the back of my memory,
While the daylight hours too increased
Someday, everything is gonna be smooth like a rhapsody
When I paint my masterpiece.

I left Rome and landed in Brussels,
With a picture of a tall oak tree by my side.
Clergymen in uniform and young girls pullin’ muscles,
Everyone was there and nobody tried to hide.
Newspapermen eating candy
Had to be held down by big police.
Someday, everything is gonna be different
When I paint my masterpiece.

A few days late, but here is a desperate attempt to document some of the beautiful things that I have seen in the last four days. I only hope that even several years later, these words will help me touch all those areas of my brain that have these images embossed and relive all the imagery each time.

Day 1:
Left India at 2 in the night. Don't really want to think of and write about anything that happened till I landed in Europe. So I landed at 6 in the morning. Checked out at 6.30, and with nothing to for 6 hours until my train to Paris, I decided to wander the streets. Alone, obviously. Its a very beautiful city. But not for its roads and shops and buildings and parks and the weather. To me it was a beautiful city because everyone was nice to me. People saw me wandering the streets at 7 in the morning and stopped to say hi. I hardly met anyone who knew English. They just came up to me, smiling, and started talking to me. When I said, 'No Deutsche...sorry...' almost all of them made really sweet attempts to talk to me in English. I was amused to find out, that some of them thought I looked Arabic. People told me I was in the wrong place if I wanted to see Europe. They said there was nothing in Frankfurt except the headquarters of all the major banks in the world. When I kept pestering them to tell me of some place I could visit as a tourist, one person reluctantly told me to go to the old part of city and look around it. Maybe I would find something interesting, he said. So I walked there, talking to strange people on the way, taking pictures of everything that came in my lens' way and utterly overwhelmed by how nice everyone was being to me. Whoever told me Frankfurt is like Mumbai where a first timer is dead meat is the dumbest person alive. The only similarity I could notice was that both cities thrived on the Financial business. Anyway...

So I went to the old part of town and I was floored. Easily the most amazing place I had seen ever. There were old churches, some sit out restaurants, cafes, bakeries and all kinds of quaint places. Most of them were opening up since it was still early in the morning, but that gave the whole landscape an even more old world charm. I sat on a bench for a while. Thought about everything. Felt sad, then alright. One man walked up to me and asked me if he could sit next to me. Even though there were several other empty benches around. I smiled and he sat down. He asked me where I was from and things like that. He too turned out to be a single traveler. But he was traveling on business. He had a flight to take sometime in the evening. Whenever he had to came to Frankfurt, he came down to that part of town at odd hours because everything there seems so nice then. I could only nod and smile. He then asked me if I would like my picture taken since I was alone and was only taking pictures of everything around me. So just like that, since he saw I had no one to take my picture, he offered. It was extremely touching. He took two pictures of me and I did of him too. He asked me if he could take a picture of me with his camera. I was kind of skeptic. But the next second I hated myself. That was exactly why I had come there for. To just be. So I let him take my picture, we said goodbye and he walked away.

I sat down on the old wooden bench for a while, just thinking of something. I noticed this beautiful young couple across the cobbled courtyard, reading a book together, holding each other. It was very sweet. Sometimes I feel eachother should be one word. I asked them for a picture and the girl happily climbed down from the bench to take my camera. When I told her that I wanted to take a picture of them, she suddenly cringed and became very reluctant. "Why us?" she asked. There was no way I was going to be able to explain that to her. "Well..." were the only words I managed. She asked her boyfriend and he too was somewhat reluctant. I decided to not pursue it and said sorry and began walking. Well...

I saw a very small old church and decided to look at it from inside. I opened the door and I was quite surprised to not find anyone there. It was completely empty. But fully 'working'. It was heated, there were candles burning, beautiful soft lights and chairs and everything. But no person. I waited there, sitting on a chair, and did nothing for 15 minutes. It was a very strange experience. Like there was a God there if you wanted to see it that way. But it was a very beautiful place either way.

At mid-day, I came out of there and walked back into the city, walking towards the train station. I saw a lot of very interesting things. It felt good to know that people liked me, or at the very least, weren't repulsed by me. And thats what I loved most about the place. I realized I loved people smiling at me. Some even made the effort to talk to me in a language they didn't know. It was very pleasant and it felt very good to be there. Add to it the fact that this was supposed to be a monster of a city with no heart, driven by commericalism.

If that was so, I couldn't wait to see what Paris would be like!

Tape recorder playing...Joel Barish. I want to erase Clementine.

Joel: Hey, Clementine.
Clementine: Hey. Nice to see you.
Joel: Yeah.
Clementine: Yeah.

...not really very educated. I mean, she's smart, I think, but not educated. Her vocabulary leaves something to be desired. Sometimes...I was embarrassed in public...

I think if there's a truly seductive quality about Clementine, it's that her personality promises to take you out of the mundane. Amazing, burning meteorite...will carry you to another world where things are exciting. But what you quickly learn is that...it's really an elaborate ruse.

Clementine: I'm sorry I yelled at you.
Joel: It's okay.

So flashy in a kind of obvious way. But still, it seduces you.

Clementine: Joel, I really like you.
Joel: I hate that I said mean things about you. Let me turn this thing off, okay?
Clementine: Hey, it's... it's only fair.

Where's the real Clementine? I mean, the whole thing with the hair...it's all bullshit.

Joel: I really like your hair.
Clementine: Thank you.
Joel: I do. The world's a goddamn mess.

Is it some kind of a revolt? Change your hair color?

Joel: You want a drink or something?
Clementine: Do you have any whiskey?

No, I don't think her sex is... motivated. I saw it clearly the last night we were together. It wasn't sex. It was just sad. The only way Clem thinks she can get people to like her...is to fuck 'em...or at least dangle the possibility of getting fucked in front of 'em. And she's so desperate and insecure...that she'll, sooner or later, go around fucking everybody.

Clementine: I don't do that.
Joel: I wouldn't think that about you.
Clementine: Because I don't.
Joel: I know.
Clementine: Because it really hurts me that you said that because I don't do that.
Joel: I'm so sorry. I'm sorry about all this.
Clementine: I'm gonna...go. I'm a little confused. I don't really think I can be here. Um...bye.
Joel: Bye.

I thought I knew her so well. But I don't know her at all. What a loss to spend that much time with someone, only to find out that she's a stranger.

Joel: Wait.
Clementine: What?
Joel: I don't know. Just wait. Just wait.
Clementine: What do you want, Joel?
Joel: I don't know. I want you to wait for...just a while.
Clementine: Okay. Really? I'm not a concept, Joel. I'm just a fucked-up girl who's looking for my own peace of mind. I'm not perfect.
Joel: I can't see anything that I don't like about you.
Clementine: Right now you can't. But you will. But you will. You know, you will think of things, and I'll get bored with you and feel trapped...because that's what happens with me.
Joel: Okay.
Clementine: Okay?
Joel: Okay.

2 mins

Clementine: Okay.

Joel: I really should go! I've gotta catch my ride.
Clementine: So go.
Joel: I did. I thought maybe you were a nut... but you were exciting.
Clementine: I wish you had stayed.
Joel: I wish I had stayed too. NOW I wish I had stayed. I wish I had done a lot of things. I wish I had...I wish I had stayed. I do.
Clementine: Well I came back downstairs and you were gone!
Joel: I walked out, I walked out the door!
Clementine: Why?
Joel: I don't know. I felt like I was a scared little kid, I was like...it was above my head, I don't know.
Clementine: You were scared?
Joel: Yeah. I thought you knew that about me. I ran back to the bonfire, trying to outrun my humiliation.
Clementine: Was it something I said?
Joel: Yeah, you said "so go." With such disdain, you know?
Clementine: Oh, I'm sorry.
Joel: It's okay.
Clementine: Joely? What if you stayed this time?
Joel: I walked out the door. There's no memory left.
Clementine: Come back and make up a good-bye at least. Let's pretend we had one.
Clementine: Bye Joel.
Joel: I love you...
Clementine: Yea...Meet me...in Montauk...

Joel: Hi.
Clementine: Hi. Didn't figure you'd show your face around me again. I guess I thought you were... humiliated. You did run away, after all.
Joel: I just needed to see ya.
Clementine: Yeah?
Joel: I'd like to, um, take you out or something.
Clementine: Look, man, I'm telling you right off the bat I'm high maintenance, so I'm not gonna tiptoe around whatever it is you've got going there. If you wanna be with me, you're with me.
Joel: Okay.
Clementine: Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's looking for my own peace of mind. Don't assign me yours.
Joel: I remember that speech really well.
Clementine: I had you pegged, didn't I?
Joel:You had the whole human race pegged.
Clementine: Hmm. Probably.
Joel: I still thought you were gonna save my life, even after that.
Clementine: Mmm. I know.
Joel: It would be different...if we could just give it another go around.
Clementine: Remember me. Try your best. Maybe we can.

Clementine: Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's looking for my own peace of mind. Don't assign me yours.

My name is Clementine Kruczynski. I'm here to erase Joel Barish. What is this? I don't know. He's boring. Is that enough reason to erase someone? I've been thinking lately how I was before and how I am now, and it's like he changed me. I feel like I'm always pissy now. I don't like myself when I'm with him. I don't like myself anymore. I can't stand to even look at him. That pathetic, wimpy, apologetic smile. That sort of wounded puppy shit he does, you know...

Clementine: You don't tell me things, Joel. I'm an open book. I tell you everything. Every damn embarrassing thing. You don't trust me. Constantly talking isn't necessarily communicating.
Joel: I don't do that.
Clementine: I want to know you.
Joel: Hmm? I don't constantly talk. Jesus!
Clementine: People have to share things, Joel.
Joel: Mm-hmm.
Clementine: That's what intimacy is.
Joel: I'm really pissed that you said that to me.
Clementine: I'm sorry.
Joel: It just... really just isn't that interesting.
Clementine: I wanna read some of those journals you're constantly scribbling in. What do you write in there if you don't have any thoughts or passions or...love?
Clementine: Joely?
Joel: Yeah, Tangerine?
Clementine: Am I ugly?
Joel: Mm-mmm.
Clementine: When I was a kid, I thought I was. Can't believe I'm crying already. Sometimes I think people don't understand how lonely it is to be a kid. Like you don't matter. So, I'm eight...and I have these toys, these dolls. My favorite is this ugly girl doll who I call Clementine. And I keep yelling at her: "You can't be ugly! Be pretty!" It's weird. Like if I can transform her, I would magically change too.
Joel: You're pretty.

Clementine: Joely, don't ever leave me.
Joel: Pretty. Pretty. Pretty. Pretty.

Clementine: Hi.
Joel: I'm sorry?
Clementine: I just said hi.
Joel: Hi. Hello. Hi.
Clementine: Okay if I sit closer? How far are you going?
Joel: Uh, Rockville Center.
Clementine: Get out! Me too! Really? What are the odds?
Joel: Do I know you?
Clementine: Do you ever shop at Barnes & Noble?
Joel: Sure. Sure.
Clementine: That's it!
Joel: Yeah?
Clementine: I've seen you, man! Book slave there for, like, five years now.
Joel: Ah. I would have thought I would've remembered you.
Clementine: Jesus! Is it five years? It might be the hair.
Joel: What might?
Clementine: It changes a lot. The color. That's why you might not recognize me. It's called Blue Ruin, the color.
Joel: Right. Yeah.
Clementine: Snappy name, huh? I like it.
Joel: Yeah.
Clementine: Anyway, this company makes a whole line of colors with equally snappy names. Red... Red Menace, Yellow Fever, Green Revolution. That'd be a job, coming up with those names.
Joel: You think there could possibly be a job like that? I mean, how many hair colors could there be? Fifty, maybe.
Clementine: Someone's got that job. Agent Orange! I came up with that one. I apply my personality in a paste.
Joel: Oh, I doubt that very much.
Clementine: Well, you don't know me, so...you don't know, do you?
Joel: Sorry. I was just...I'm trying to be nice.
Clementine: Yeah. I got it. My name's Clementine, by the way.
Joel: I'm Joel.
Clementine: Hi, Joel.
Joel: Hey.
Clementine: No jokes about my name? Oh, no, you wouldn't do that. You're trying to be nice.
Joel:I don't know any jokes about your name.
Clementine: Huckleberry Hound.
Joel: I don't know what that means.
Clementine: Huckleberry Hound? What are you, nuts?
Joel: It's been suggested.
Clementine: Oh, my darlin', oh, my darlin' Oh, my darlin' Clementine You were lost and gone forever Dreadful sorry Clementine. No?
Joel: I'm sorry. Just...It's a pretty name, though. It really is nice. It's, uh...It means "merciful." Right? Clemency?
Clementine: Although it hardly fits. I'm a vindictive little bitch, truth be told.
Joel: Gee, I wouldn't think that about you.
Clementine: Why wouldn't you think that about me?
Joel: I don't know. I just...I don't know. I just, uh...You seem nice, so...
Clementine: Oh, now I'm nice? Oh, God. Don't you know any other adjectives? I don't need "nice." I don't need myself to be it, and I don't need anybody else to be it at me. Okay.

2 mins...

Clementine: Joel? It's Joel, right?
Joel: Yes.
Clementine: I'm sorry I yelled at you. I'm a little out of sorts today. My embarrassing admission is, I really like that you're nice right now. I mean, I can't tell from one moment to the next what I'm gonna like, but right now...I'm glad you are. I have so much stuff that, uh, I probably should, uh...Oh! I'm sorry.
Joel: Okay.L-I'm writing, and...No, no. I just...
Clementine: Sure. No. That's okay.
Joel: I just have...You know, this is...
Clementine: Okay. Take care, then.

10 mins...

Joel: Hi. I could, uh, give you a ride, if you need. It's cold.
Clementine: Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah? It is frosty. You're not a stalker or anything, right?
Joel: I'm not a stalker. You're the one that talked to me. Remember?
Clementine: That is the oldest trick in the stalker book.
Joel: Really? There's a stalker book?
Clementine: Mm-hmm.
Joel: Okay. I gotta read that one.
Clementine: Look, I'm sorry if I came off sorta nutso. I'm not, really.
Joel: Oh, it's okay. I didn't think you were.
Clementine: Did you wanna have a drink? I have lots of drinks, and I could, um...
Joel: Um...
Clementine: Never mind. Sorry. That was stupid. I'm embarrassed now.
Joel: No, no, no, no.
Clementine: Good night, Joel.

5 mins...

Clementine: Two Blue Ruins.
Joel: Thank you.
Clementine: Drink up, young man. It'll make the whole seduction part less repugnant.
Joel: What?
Clementine: I'm just kidding! Come on. You're kinda closed-mouthed, aren't you?
Joel: I'm sorry. It's just, you know, my life isn't that interesting. I go to work, I come home.
Don't know what to say.
Clementine: You should read my journal. I mean, it's just...blank.
Joel: Really? Does that make you sad or anxious?
Clementine: I mean, I'm always anxious, thinking I'm not living my life to the fullest, taking advantage of every possibility, making sure I'm not wasting one second of the little time I have. I think about that.
Joel: Yeah? You're really nice. Ohh! God, I have to stop saying that.
Clementine: I'm gonna marry you. I know it.
Joel: Um... okay.
Clementine: Joel, you should come up to the Charles with me sometime. It gets frozen this time of year.
Joel: That sounds scary.
Clementine: Exactly. I'll pack a picnic. A night picnic. Night picnics are different. And, um, we could...
Joel: Sounds good. But I...I should, uh, go. Now.
Clementine: You should stay.
Joel: No, I really... I'm... I...I have to get up so early.
Clementine: I would like you to call me. Would you do that? I would like it.
Joel: Yes.
Clementine: Wish me a happy Valentine's Day when you call! That'd be nice.

45 mins...

Clementine: What took you so long?
Joel: I just walked in.
Clementine: Mm-hmm. You miss me?
Joel: Yeah. Oddly enough, I do.