Well, it's always been my nature
To take chances
My right hand drawing back
While my left hand advances
Where the current is strong
And the monkey dances
To the tune of a concertina...
Blood dryin' in my yellow hair
As I go from shore to shore
I know what it is
That has drawn me to your door
But whatever it could be,
Makes you think you've seen me before
Angelina...

Oh, Angelina.

His eyes were two slits
Making a snake proud
With a face that any painter would paint
As he walked through the crowd
Worshipping a god with the body
Of a woman well endowed
And the head of a hyena...
Do I need your permission
To turn the other cheek?
If you can read my mind,
Why must I speak?
No, I have heard nothing
About the man that you seek
Angelina...

Oh, Angelina. Oh, Angelina

In the valley of the giants
Where the stars and stripes explode
The peaches they were sweet
And the milk and honey flowed
I was only following instructions
When the judge sent me down the road
With your subpoena...
When you cease to exist,
Then who will you blame?
I've tried my best to love you,
But I cannot play this game
Your best friend and my worst enemy
Is one and the same
Angelina...

Oh, Angelina. Oh, Angelina

There's a black Mercedes rollin'
Through the combat zone
Your servants are half dead;
You're down to the bone
Tell me, tall man,
Where would you like to be overthrown
Maybe Jerusalem, or Argentina?
She was stolen from her mother
When she was three days old
Now her vengeance has been satisfied
And her possessions have been sold
He's surrounded by God's angels
And she's wearin' a blindfold
But so are you!
Angelina...

Oh, Angelina. Oh, Angelina

I see pieces of men marching;
Trying to take heaven by force
I can see the unknown rider,
I can see the pale white horse
In God's true name tell me what you want,
And you'll have it of course
Just step into the arena...
Beat a path of retreat
Up them spiral staircases
Past the tree of smoke,
Past the angel with four faces
Begging God for mercy
And weepin' in unholy places
Angelina...

Oh, Angelina.

I got my back to the Sun,
Cuz the light is too intense
I can see what everybody
In the world is up against
You can't turn back and you can't come back,
Sometimes we push too far
One day you'll open up your eyes, and
You'll see where we are
Sugar Baby get on down the road,
You ain't got no brains, no how!
You went years without me,
Might as well keep going now.

Some of these bootleggers,
They make pretty good stuff
Plenty of places to hide things here,
If you want to hide 'em bad enough
I'm staying with Aunt Sally, but you know,
She's not really my aunt
Some of these memories you can learn to live with,
And some of them you can't

Sugar Baby get on down the line
You ain't got no brains, no how!
You went years without me,
Might as well keep going now.

The ladies down in Darktown,
They do the Darktown Strut
You always got to be prepared but,
You never know for what
There ain't no limit to
The amount of trouble women bring
Love is pleasing, love is teasing,
Love's not an evil thing

Sugar Baby, get on down the road,
You ain't got no brains, no how!
You went years without me,
Might as well keep going now.

Every moment of existence seems
Like some dirty trick
Happiness can come suddenly and,
Leave just as quick
Any minute of the day,
The bubble could burst
Try to make things better for someone, sometimes
You just end up making them thousand times worse

Sugar Baby, get on down the road,
You ain't got no brains no how!
You went years without me,
Might as well keep going now.

Your charms have broken many a heart and,
Mine is surely one
You got a way of tearing a world apart,
Love, see what you've done
Just as sure as we're living,
Just as sure as you're born
Look up, look up seek your Maker
'fore Gabriel blows his horn

Sugar Baby, get on down the line,
You ain't got no sense, no how!
You went years without me,
Might as well keep going now!

Dirt Road Blues

All the truth in the world adds up to one big lie.

Wahaan kaun hai tera, musaafir
Jaayega kahaan?
Dum le le ghadi bhar
Ye chhaiyyaan payega kahaan?
Wahaan kaun hai tera, musaafir
Jayegaa kahaan?
Wahaan kaun hai tera?


Beet gaye din,
Pyaar ke pal-chhin
Sapna baneen woh raatein
Bhool gaye woh,
Tu bhi bhulaa de
Pyaar ki wo mulaqaatein...
Pyaar ki wo mulaqaatein
Sab door andhera...sab door andhera
Musaafir, jayega kahaan?
Dum le le, dum le le,
Dum le le ghadi bhar
Ye chhaiyaan payega kahaan?
Wahaan kaun hai tera?


Koi bhi teri, raah na dekhe
Nain bichhaaye na koi
Dard se tere, koi na tadpaa
Aankh kisi ki na royi...
Aankh kisi ki na royi
Kahe kisko tu mera...kahe kisko tu mera?
Musaafir jayega kahaan?
Dum le le, dum le le
Dum le le ghadi bhar
Ye chhaiyaan payega kahaan?
Wahaan kaun hai tera?


Tune to sabko, raah bataayi
Tu apni manzil kyun bhoola?
Suljha ke raaja, auron ki uljhan
Kyun kachhe dhaagon pe jhoola?
Kyun kachhe dhaagon pe jhoola?
Kyun naache sapera...kyun naache sapera?
Musaafir jayega kahaan?
Dum le le, dum le le
Dam le le ghadi bhar
Ye chhaiyaan, payega kahaan?
Wahaan kaun hai tera?


Kehte hain gyaani,
Duniyaa hai faani
Paani pe likhi-likhaayi
Hain sabki dekhi,
Hain sabki jaani,
Haath kisike na aayi...
Haath kisike na aayi
Kuchh tera na mera...kuchh tera na mera
Musafir, jaayega kahaan?
Dum le le, dum le le
Dum le le ghadi bhar
Ye chhaiyaan,payega kahaan?
Wahaan kaun hai tera?

Do you love me,
Or are you just extending goodwill?
Do you need me half as bad as you say,
Or are you just feeling guilt?
I've been burned before
And I know the score
So you won't hear me complain.
Will I be able
To count on you
Or is your love in vain?

Are you so fast that you cannot see
That I must have solitude?
When I am in the darkness,
Why do you intrude?
Do you know my world,
Do you know my kind
Or must I explain?
Will you let me
Be myself
Or is your love in vain?

Well I've been to the mountains
And I've been in the wind,
I've been in and out of happiness.
I have dined with kings,
I've been offered wings
And I've never been too impressed.

All right, I'll take a chance,
I will fall in love with you
If I'm a fool you can have the night,
You can have the morning too.
Can you cook and sew,
Make flowers grow,
Do you understand my pain?
Are you willing
To risk it all
Or is your love in vain?

Sentenced to be...

My cat spends her day, every day, doing innocent and innocent things only. No evil. No malice, no hate, no ill will, no bitterness. Just innocent things. Make that all cats, not just my cat. Make that all animals, not just cats. Actually, make that every friggin’ life-form on this planet. Bar one.

It must be a good way to live, like a cat. Unfortunately, since we can’t fix that now, we’re only left with a few tools to deal with this deceitful, insincere, hypocritical, backstabbing, duplicitous ride that we collectively call the human experience. There’s no way out. So how do you get by? There’s really only 3 ways you can approach it, and they loosely follow the 90:9:1 rule.

90% of our species basically participates in the experience without even thinking about it. They screw others over and get screwed over back, until they die. It sounds like a fairly acceptable form of existence, if you don’t consider the fact that they are participating without reconciling why they are doing what they are. And living with that sort of a half-awareness is like functioning with a constant dull headache. No fun. Even so, fundamentally they are not particularly vicious and you have to give them that. If you have the motivation and the energy, you can reason with them. They are the ones people refer to, when they say things like “below that hard exterior, he has…” or "she's good at heart...". If you identify yourself here, congratulations! You're as as happy or as miserable as you are ever going to be. Unless you access your wicked gene looking for something more, and leave your pack to join the reveling-in-their-own-skin 9%.

The 9% are the ones we commonly call douchebags. They are the jerks who have come up with their own twisted philosophies and world views that allow them to go around poaching animals, backstabbing friends, cutting in line, honking when others are patient, and generally making arguments that nobody should be making. They are the ones who seemingly start the rot and set the rules of the game, which the 90% then unthinkingly play. They are the ones you do NOT think, are "...good at heart". While its hard to self-identify as part of this group, others can usually reliably locate you here. Existence is a breeze, and life is a party. So what's the flip side, right? Well, just one little thing. You better hope that something doesn't randomly flip your "conscience switch" one day. Because you can't actively guard against that no matter what. Its a high-risk, high-reward game here. And if/when that risk materializes, you've essentially been condemned to become part of the 1%.

And that brings us to the 1%. Those miserable souls who are neither here nor there. The ones who can see it all, can also see that nothing can be done about it, but still don’t want to willfully participate if they can help it. They are the ones who are the most screwed up. They become the poster children for the misery of the human condition. For them the stakes are even higher. Unless they find a way to cope with it, the morass is going to keep getting deeper and will eventually close in on them. And there is only one way they can hope to cope. Humor. Unless they are able to find real humor in the futility of the whole thing, they're going to be screwed in way nobody wants to be.

If you can’t truly, truly see the humor, the best you can do is try. Fake it till you make it. Because laughing something off is really only way you can square off something that doesn’t compute. The ones who know this and have some talent about them do what they can for the rest of the species.

If you still can’t find a way to laugh, the joke’s on you.

Kya kare zindagi, isko hum jo mile
Iski jaan kha gaye, raat-din ke gile
Raat-din gile…
Meri aarzoo...kameeni
Mere khwab bhi...kameeney
Ek dil se dosti thi,
Yeh huzoor bhi...kaminey
Kya kare zindagi, isko hum jo mile
Iski jaan kha gaye, raat-din ke gile

What can life really do now, now that something like me has happened to it! I’ve been an absolute pain in its butt with my constant questioning, and this perverted guilt complex. I am up to no good with nothing that I do. My ambition, my dreams, it’s all pure reprobate. I tried to keep to myself, but my heart turned out to be the biggest reprobate of them all!

Kabhi zindagi se maanga, pinjre mein chaand la do
Kabhi laalten deke, kaha aasmaan mein taango
Jeene ke sab qareeney,
The hamesha se kameeney
Kameeney, kameeney, kameeney, kameeney...
Meri daastaan...kameeni
Mere raastein...kameeney
Ek dil se dosti thi,
Yeh huzoor bhi...kaminey

I was the kind who went after what I wanted. And after I got it, I knew what a rascal I’d been. That took all the fun out of everything! All my ways have been nothing but but rotten. My whole story has been a tale of depravity. Every road I’ve ever taken has been unprincipled! And when I tried to mend my ways, I learned my heart is the biggest degenerate of them all!

Jiska bhi chehra chheela, andar se aur nikla
Maasoom sa kabootar, naacha to mor nikla
Kabhi hum kaminey nikle,
Kabhi doosre kaminey
Kameeney, kameeney, kameeney, kameeney...
Meri dosti...kameeni,
Mere yaar bhi...kameeney
Ek dil se dosti thi,
Yeh huzoor bhi...kameeney

But it’s not just me. Everyone I’ve ever met has been no different; every single person I’ve met has been two-faced. The most harmless and nicest people have shown their true colors with time. Sometimes I was the scoundrel, other times it was everyone else. My friendships have all been wretched, and I’ve been a terrible friend. But none of my friends have been any better. And when I tried to be by myself, guess who turned out to be the biggest troublemaker of them all…